Flaws of Perfection

So, like, it’s April now aye? Almost nearing the end of it as well.. But this means I get to blog once more before the month ends and since it’s April, my favourite month of the year, of course I won’t forget about it.

Though I gotta say, my relationship with dear Miss April (yes I like to think April is a female month) is a love-hate relationship.

I love it because, well, April tends to have a lot of good things happening.. Last year was probably the best April of my life as of yet. I truly thought that whole month was almost magical. Things I literally only dreamed of happening really happened to me. And damn, was I overjoyed..

With that said, April has a lot of downsides too, which was why I said I hated it. Normally my birthday (yes, I’m an April baby ) would fall around the same time as Easter, so whenever I wanna spend the day with my friends, some of them would be too busy with their families and church

Then there’s also that mid-semester tests and assignment week. So in times where I should be celebrating a new year of my life, I have to stress about projects and due dates.

But of course, now that I’ve officially graduated *shock horror* I don’t need to worry about that anymore. Instead I have the real world stress that comes pretty much every day. Though I still get to experience the effect of the dreaded assignment week.

There’s also other people’s birthdays….pretty much every week. So for every birthday present I get, I have to think about five more presents for other people. That might be a little bit exaggerated, but you get the jist.

I am currently struggling to create an awesome birthday experience for my loved one. I’ve given up on my family members’ birthday presents because, well, I’m a bitter person and if they don’t give me any presents then why should I?! …just kidding. I am getting them something, just not treating them as special

Anyways, like I said, I am struggling for this particular person’s birthday.

I’ve started planning for this birthday pretty much months ago. I made a list on my phone on ideas for presents. I kept it on my phone because my phone is always with me, so every time he says something or I get a little spark of idea, I quickly write it down. Sounds a bit dumb, now I’m writing about it. It makes me feel like I’m still a teenager, dealing with my very first crush. Kind of embarrassing, I must say.

Problem was, every time he wants something, he goes on and get it himself. (Why must you be so practical and hard to please?) Then I’d have to cross those things in my list. And my list gets shorter and shorter, haha. Thus, this whole thing gets even more frustrating. Again, that might have been an exaggeration, but you get the jist.

Then I thought maybe I should just get something that’s not really needed, but fun to have or look at. Some decorative piece… nah. I don’t think I should get any novelty things for this one. Sometimes presents like these feel a tad impersonal, though that depends on your relationship with the birthday person. But I do remember enjoying receiving presents that are just there because they are pretty. I like pretty things…but don’t we all?

Right now, I am still trying to finish crafting the presents. Yes, I’ve decided on what to get, mostly because I got them already. I’m just slightly worried that I won’t be able to please him as much as I wanted to.

I just wanted a perfect present, for a person who doesn’t believe in perfection. This is tough. I’m a firm believer of perfection and all its flaws. yeah, figure that one out.

So, 23 years old and still struggling to know what a perfect present is. I have a looooong way of hard life ahead of me.

PS. I just signed up for Formspring. Ask me any question, and I’ll answer them on the next entry!

http://www.formspring.me/xandieee

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